Inside My Head

On Wed. Brent came to pick me up, we were heading to Collingwood for a few days. On the way up we stopped in Newmarket. he took me to where my friends had once lived, and he went so far as to take me to the sanddunes in which we, being me my sisters and friends, used to play in. it was a bad idea to go  in flip-flops and a sundress, plus: grass + freshly shaven legs x allergies= OW. the sanddunes were completely overgrown, as i had suspected. i did however get to see some slugs and some mushrooms. after that i was left at the newmarket mall to fend for myself, i.e.: shop. for the most part it sucked, until i went to Timothy's and had some coffee, all of a sudden everything turned up roses. a massive sale! alas, i was quite cold at this point (sundress + flip flops in over A/Ced mall) so i ended up buying a shirt and some jeans... which i then changed into. i was left waiting outside, where i overheard some really weird people. these suburbanites are a whole new breed of folk. the people inside the mall were no better i might add.

the next day we set out to the Scenic Caves (having already arrived in Collingwood the night before). first we went to the suspension bridge, which is like a drunk walk. the bridge keeps shaking, even moreso when annoying children decide to jump up & down for lack of anything else to do. the fish pond was the best use of a quarter to date. for 25 cents we got a huge handful of fishfood plus the entertainment of feeding the giant fish and watching them scare off the seagulls trying to steal their food.

it was a long hike to first cave, and i ended up having to sit after first cave. there were some old ladies nearby, just as tired as me. the second cave, also a cold cave was a nice relief, my stupid long pants were too hot. but then i got a sign that said "smile the hard part is over".

there was some mud, and Brent made fun of me saying i was going to slip, which then resulted in him almost falling, a near-karma attack on him. i refused to squeeze through Fat Man's Misery, which resulted in me being called a wimp. i stand by my refusal. outside of it i saw stick thin blondie, she was scary thin.
then there were some hick people trying to climb up rocks... i was waiting for them to fall, but it didn't happen.

a nature trail looped us around to the first cave, for which there was no line-up but again i refused to squeeze into a small space. i saw those same hick people there, and one of the ladies was too fat to fit into the small space, i chuckled quietly. in my defense she was the one making outright jokes about it.

we went back to the fish pond and i plotzed in a double muskoka chair, it was the greatest chair ever.

in summary: the Olympics are boring, i found out what those damn "er" subway ads are for (Bell) and lastly: i am swearing off Kelsey's for life. and i hope no one eats the second half of that sandwich (which i am glad i did not eat).

the week, well at that point i spose it was weekend, started out with a trip to the Toronto Zoo. a nice sunny Friday afternoon, wasn't too hot and there were storm clouds looming above, hopefully to scare away potential zoo visitors, making the place kless crowded, just the way i like it. the animals were out in full swing. the rhino was lounging about and right near there in the butterfly pavillion there was a MASSIVE butterfly that we both agreed it was a good thing it was not flying around. it was bigger than my palm, and seeing as i was freaked out enough by the smaller butterflies, i don't know what i would've done had the dinosaur-sized one been in flight. next was the wall of fish, it seriously looked like they were purposely arranging themselves like that. then there was the pygmy hippo, being all cute and rolling a log around. it was around this time that people watching got interesting. there was a super emo guy, who i swear, was wearing WOMEN's capri pants. they were so tight, way way way too tight, and he had purple shoes. i still shudder when i think about it.

the meerkats were being pretty cute and also living up to the information page posted on the gate, digging and standing up on their hind legs. then there were some pigs, that God did not look favourably on. they had long tassles hanging off the ends of their ears. when i showed my sisters the pictues one of them piped up, "What is WRONG with that pig?!", in a rather alarmed tone. i kept hearing a peacock calling out, so i searched around for it, he was up on a post near the entrance to a pavillion, so i kept inching closer in hopes of getting a proper photograph. of course, he noticed me and started puffing up and getting all antsy, so i ran. ah, the lengths i will go to just for a good photo. the elephants were one of my favourites, mostly because they are my favourite animal. they were so cute, giving themselves dust baths and flapping their ears. one kept mooning me. and i could never get a picture of an elephant flapping his ears. the mooning continued, there was another male peacock but this one was behind a fence, he had his feathers fully fanned out, but he decided that i need to see it from the back too. there was an ostrich who was not a happy camper, albeit it did make for some interesting photos. he kept getting close to the fence and opening his mouth and wings real wide. the other rhino was just as lazy, if not lazier, he was just flopped out. i also saw another hippo hold his breath for really really long. i never saw him come up for air. i joked that was dead. little did i know the dead animal joke would come back to haunt me. we were in one of the Australian pavillions and there was a toad sitting on the edge of the water. he jumped in and i laughed because he started doing backflips underwater. it seemed like it was just for us, because his tank was in a corner that was not as visible as the other tanks. but at the end of his "show", he just sank to the bottom, still on hius back. he wasn't moving at all. so we backed away and left, the haunting image of the toad's last moments still lingering. we went back. maybe we were just crazy. no change. so we kept going and once we finished going through that pavillion, we looped around to check on him once more. no change. he was one dead toad.

oh yes, previous to that there was also a lone giraffe eating from trees that were outside of his fence. and then he got fed up with that and decided to, awkwardly, bend down and eat grass. there was also the Canadian part of the zoo. most of the animals were wither, MIA, asleep OR there space was so big and they were way at the far end. but then the grizzly bear stepped up to the plate to represent for Canada. first he was just floating around on his back, licking his paw and holding onto and chewing a log above the edge of the pool. every once in a while he would lick the crease of his elbow, i wondered what he had gotten in there that was so tasty? as we were leaving i noticed another vantage point, so i insisted we go there, to see the other bear who just kept pacing back and forth against a wall at the back of the pen[?]. but of course the other bear got our attention back. he grabbed one of the balls floating in the pool and kinda smacked it around a bit, then he picked it up and SLAM dunked it real hard, producing a rather large splash and even larger wave of laughter from the crowd.

next there were these little monkey-like things and four of them climbed into their food dish. i coaught some flamingos on camera with their heads exposed. there was one ugly un-colorful flamingo. and there were two macaws making a hell of a lot of noise, but only on my way back around did i realize why. there were geese eating their food! back to the Australia pavillion. this chick was trying to take a picture of her boyfriend with two of the free-flying birds, who looked like parrots but black instead of red/blue. as we came in through the door, i guess we spooked one of the buirds and he took off, barely grazing the top of my head and reminding me why i dislike birds in close proximity to me. the porcupine, who has a different name but is essentially one, would not let me get a picture of his face. all i got was quills, not even raised ones. then i learned about jellyfish and learned that they are just about impossible to take a photo of, well with a crappy point and shoot camera. then i saw Santa's reindeer and just about everyone there was making Santa jokes. the polish-named horses were cute. there were two grazing and two more running around. one kept chasing the other, who did not enjoy being charged at. the little red fox would not open his eyes for a picture. and the monkey was too busy eating watermelon to turn and look at me. there were a lot of mountain goats dispersed over the fake red rock "mountains". but at the highest point there sat a pigeon, and there was enough pigeon poop all over it to assume he sits there a lot, making him the king over the goats. a pigeon king over the mountain goats. this last trail we were on was called the Camel Trail, but when we got to the camel pen, there was a sign saying they were over at the camel rides. so i was mad that i was lied to about seeing camels. but then i saw one in an unmarked pen. as we were leaving the Australia exhibit, we wondered why we hadn't seen any kangaroos... and then there they were, so many of them. just lounging about. my feet and legs hurt so much the next day. we had walked for about 5hrs straight, i was in flipflops the whole time.

two days later i survived a baseball game. we got tickets taht were in the nosebleed section because we arrived like 10 minutes before the game started. but as Brent was showing me the concourse area, we started watching the game from down there. and no one ever kicked us out. so we just stayed there and had an awesome view of the game. the standing wasn't even that bad. save for when there were some half-drunken annoying womanizing jerks beside me. or when this guy beside me dropped his beer and some of it spilled on my shoes and socks. my brand new shoes i might add. ooh and we got free pizza because the picther for the Jays struck out 7 players. and i got to see a bat crack in half. and best of all, for people watching, i got see two awesome things on the Jumbo-tron [thankfully i finally remembered what that thing is called]. i got see a big fat guy do his Lotto 649 Happy Dance. it brought back fond memories of the Numa Numa Guy. albeit he did have to flash us his moobies. too far. and later i got to see a lame proposal. the bird mascot even came over and hugged them. she said yes. lame. and another lame thing was this Yankees fan. she had once been way fatter so she loose jiggly skin hanging off her out-stretched arms. it was gross.

after that we really didn't do anything. at all. except sit around and watch TV. and discover that i am awesome at Frisbee. and that Sex & The City is indeed an awesome show. we went to 7-Eleven just about every day. so much so that they were actually cracking jokes and making small talk with us last time we went. and of course what would a week together with your beau be without a little drama? and of course there was a mini water gun fight in the house. me and Lucy were testing out the water guns in the sink. i jokingly sprayed her in the arm. she couldn't get hers closed so i put my gun down, stupid  i know! and offered to help. i couldn't close the thing so i asked Brent, who took the gun... closed it and started attacking us, so we locked ourselves in the bathroom. we devised a plan to cover ourselves with towels and go get the other guns from Camilla's room. i did not think it would work. but we managed to get back to the bathroom, water guns in hand and safe. we filled them up and then using our super stealth powers, headed out to hunt him down. he was hiding on the stairs and our ambush worked, his backfired. he barely got us. he ran to the bottom of the stairs and tried to spray us, but with gravity on our side we got him good. he opened an umbrella but even that was no match for us, we just crouched down and got him under it. another time Brent hid under my bed and grabbed my feet as i came into the room. he got no reaction from me. but a few days later i was coming out of the shower and he was sitting in my room and i didn't know he was in there and i screamed. "aww come on!"- Brent.

this has been one of the best weeks ever. it might not seem like a lot happened, and really we didn't do that much but still it was so much fun!

• 1000+ cows
• saw amish people, was nice to see them without having almost just run them over
• town called Dorking
• fitness place called Go Figure
• piercing place called Through The Other Side
• llama hiding out amongst the sheep on a farm; wouldn't've known it was a llama had it not been for the long neck
• downtown Kincardine is the ONLY place where you can see a chipmunk crossing the road...
• Perdue Road in the middle of nowhere

this heat is just too much